Unremarkable Appearances

Here's a little story I will share with you, a piece from a novel.

Eiloseia Stanfill sat aloft a gnarled oak tree, and contemplated about profound matters. Her solemn round eyes reflected the grey-blue clouds that hung mournfully over the earth, and her dull brown hair fell about her shoulders limply. A faded green cotton dress hung over her thin shoulders. Even though fourteen years of age, her skirts were not yet lengthened.

If anyone was to pass by and take notice of the girl, the first thought that they would think is, ‘what a plain looking child’ or, ‘how shocking that her skirts are not yet lengthened!’.

But wouldn’t you just have guessed, that when the sun beams caress her head, her locks turn to gold, and when she smiles, her eyes light up like a thousand gems? So that, it was. As for her apparel, she was of a poor family, and her parents could not afford to meet society’s expectations and standards for how they dress.

This particular day, as I was saying, she perched on a sturdy oak branch, thinking deeply about many things that normal fourteen year old girls do not usually think about. Eiloseia’s lithe arms encircled the knotted trunk, as her serious eyes gazed off absently at nothing in particular.

How very deeply she thought… pondering many things. How hard she did try to be such a woman that she thought God would want her to be. Yet it all seemed to turn back on her. She spoke to quickly, or she did not speak when she should have. She used the wrong words, or did not say the right ones. She had many friends, yet oft felt so lonely, as it seemed none of them understood her. Was it just pity for herself that was making her feel and think this way? How she was trying to change her ways, but it seemed that no one believed she was trying at all. Or were her own thoughts deceiving her? Perhaps she was just far too concerned about others thoughts about her, and her own imagination is getting carried away. Suppose she would stop plaguing her thoughts this way, and started living for God’s approval? Suppose instead of thinking thoughts of self pity, she would pray? Suppose she focused on living fully for God, even if no one believed her?

A tear slid down her face. How very selfishly she was living. What is the point of changing, if it is only so that people approve of you?

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.